Rite 17 · After the wedding
Durgaon
A few days on, the couple comes back to the bride's home, so the leaving is never all at once. 'Du' is second: this is the second coming, their first as a married pair — and the family's gentle way of saying you haven't really lost us at all.
The whole weddingDurgaon · दुर्गौं
Rite 17 of 19Known locally as
Durgaon
/ dur·gauṁ / दुर्गौं
the return home — the couple's short visit back to the bride's home a few days on — 'du', the second coming.
What it is
Within a few days of the bidaai, the newly-weds return together to the bride's parental home for a short, gentle visit. 'Du' is second — this is the second coming, their first as a married pair.
Why it's done
Leaving everything in one wrench is hard, and the durgaon softens it. The bride sees her old home again almost at once, her parents see her settled and happy, and homesickness is met before it can ever take hold. It is the family's quiet way of saying: you haven't really lost us.
How it unfolds
The couple travel back, are fed and fussed over for a day or two, and return — the door between the two homes left, from now on, always open.
Who needs to be there
The couple, and the bride's family welcoming them home.
What's special — and how we keep it
The tenderest custom of them all — proof that a hill marriage joins two homes, it never takes one away. We remember the relief on a mother's face.
Her side, and his
The bride's side
Her home receives the couple back — the quiet relief of seeing her again so soon after the leaving.
The groom's side
He returns as the new son-in-law, fussed over by her side for a day or two before they go.