Rite 13 · The wedding day
Kanyadaan
The hardest rite of them all — a father gives his daughter away. He places her hand into the groom's and, as the family pours water over their joined hands, lets her go; then the groom fills the parting of her hair with sindoor, and it is done.
The whole weddingKanyadaan · कन्यादान
Rite 13 of 19Known locally as
Kanyadaan
/ kan·yaa·daan / कन्यादान
the giving of the daughter — the father placing his daughter's hand in the groom's — held to be the highest gift a parent can give.
What it is
The bride's father places her hand into the groom's and, as the family pours water over their joined hands, formally gives his daughter to her husband.
Why it's done
Kanyadaan is held to be the highest gift a parent can give — the giving of one's own child. The poured water makes the gift irreversible; from this moment she belongs to a new family, and the groom fills the parting of her hair with sindoor.
How it unfolds
Father and daughter sit together; her hand is placed in the groom's, water is poured by the family, the Pandit ji seals it with mantra — then the sindoor and the mangalsutra.
Who needs to be there
The bride, her father and mother, the groom, and the Pandit ji.
What's special — and how we keep it
It's where the joy turns, for a moment, to tears — every parent feels it. We remember the father's face more than any other.
Her side, and his
The bride's side
Hers to give. Her father and mother make the gift of their daughter — the hardest thing they will ever do, and the very heart of their side of the wedding.
The groom's side
His to receive. The groom accepts her and marks her his with sindoor; for his side, this is a gaining, not a parting.
Pandit ji, the mantra & the song Draft
Pandit ji's part
The Pandit ji is at the very centre here — he recites the gotras of both lines, leads the sankalp, and pours the witnessing water that makes the gift irreversible.
The mantras
The gotrochar — the naming of both lineages — and the kanyadaan sankalp, the vow of giving. (The exact verses are the Pandit ji's; these are the ones commonly heard.)
The mangal geet
The women's songs hush for this one; the moment belongs to the Pandit ji and the parents.
In photographs
8 frames from this rite, in the order they happened.
Photographs in association with Balaji Photographer — a studio out of Barechhina, on the Almora–Pithoragarh highway.