A wedding has a language all its own

the birth chart — the horoscope cast from the moment and place of a birth; matching two is the heart of an arranged match.

the matching score — the points, out of thirty-six, by which two kundalis are judged to agree — the higher, the more auspicious.

Mars-marked — born with Mars in a place the charts call difficult; a manglik is matched with another manglik, so the two cancel and the stars are quieted. (We are both.)

the fixing of the day — the setting of the wedding date and the muhurat — the auspicious hour — from the panchang.

the auspicious hour — the exact moment the marriage must be made; the old ones fall in the small hours, which is why a wedding could run two days.

the auspicious mark — Kumaon's own tilak of rice paste and turmeric, drawn down the brow to bless every threshold of the wedding.

frying for the gods — the making of suwal — sun-dried, deep-fried breads offered to the gods and ancestors before the wedding can begin.

the dusk welcome — the rite of receiving the dust-covered baraat at twilight, the groom's feet washed at the bride's door.

the giving of the daughter — the father placing his daughter's hand in the groom's — held to be the highest gift a parent can give.

the seven steps — the seven circles of the sacred fire, each a vow; after the seventh, the two are married.

the farewell — the bride's tearful leaving of her parents' home for her husband's, throwing rice back as a blessing.

the return home — the couple's short visit back to the bride's parents a few days on, so that the leaving is never all at once.

the homecoming blessing — the day of recitation and puja the family holds once the couple is home, to bless the new marriage.

the two-day baraat — the old way: the muhurat in the small hours, the baraat staying the night and leaving only the next morning.

the one-day baraat — the newer way: the whole wedding, start to finish, folded into a single day.

the forehead mark — the red mark of blessing pressed on the brow at every auspicious step of the days.

the unbroken rice — whole grains of rice, often dyed yellow, scattered in blessing through every rite.

the puffed rice — the parched rice the bride's brother pours into her hands to offer into the fire at each phera.

god's fruit — the dry coconut given as a blessing — a token of prosperity, and of a safe and certain return.

the knot — the tying together of the couple's garments, binding them for the seven steps around the fire.

the vermilion — the red the groom fills into the bride's parting — from then on, the mark of a married woman.

the family deity — the god a household holds as its own and turns to first; the newly-weds seek their first blessing at its shrine — for us, Shiva at Jageshwar.

the sword-dance — the martial folk dance of shield and sword that leads a Kumaoni baraat — found nowhere but these hills.

the great drums — the drum-and-kettledrum pair of Uttarakhand, beaten together at every auspicious occasion.

the bagpipe — what we call the bagpipe in Kumaoni — the skirling pipes that lead a baraat up the hill, taken into the hill bands and made wholly our own.

the conch — the conch-shell, called saakh here, blown long to open and to seal each sacred moment of the rites.

the long trumpet — the long, straight copper trumpet of the hills — also called turhi — its deep call carrying clear across the valley to announce a wedding.

the auspicious songs — the blessing-songs of Shiva and Parvati's own wedding, sung by the women through every rite.

the women singers — the women who lead the mangal geet — keepers of tunes passed down only by ear, mother to daughter.

a chat, a natter — the easy talk of a gathering — and at a wedding, with a whole family together and years to catch up on, the fasak never stops.

the family priest — what we call our Brahmin priest — never just 'pandit', always with the respect of 'ji'. He keeps a household's rites, often across generations.

the bridal veil — the rangwali pichhora — the yellow cloth printed in red that every Kumaoni bride wears, and goes on wearing at every rite for years after.

the groom's veil — the curtain of flowers or beads hung over the groom's face as he sets out to claim his bride.

the turban — the groom's headcloth, wound and crowned — the crown of his wedding dress.

the nose-ring — the great hooped gold nose-ring of the Kumaoni bride, often near as wide as her face — its size and craft a quiet mark of the family.

the choker — the broad gold-and-velvet choker of old Kumaoni bridal jewellery, clasped close at the throat.

the neck-torque — the rigid silver or gold band worn close at the throat — among the oldest of hill ornaments.

the bracelet — the gold bracelet of clustered beads worn at the wrist by Kumaoni women.

the invitation — the Kumaoni invitation, given in person, home to home — a 'chul neuat' for a whole household, an 'ek jhadi' for one — and the careful record of who was asked, returned in kind at the next wedding.

the auspicious token — the small gift of money, sweets or cloth given to mark a blessing and wish good fortune.

the spring gift — the gift a brother carries to his married sister each spring, so she is never forgotten in her new home.

the water pot — the small spouted pot the family pours from over the couple's joined hands at the giving away.

the sacred pot — the brass or copper pot, topped with leaves and a coconut, that stands for the gods at the ceremony.

the water vessel — the big brass pot the hill women carry on the hip to fetch water from the source.

the kneading dish — the wide, shallow metal dish in which dough for hundreds is mixed by hand.

the palanquin — the covered litter carried on shoulders — the bride's young brother borne in it as the baraat arrives, and the bride away in it at her bidaai. Once it came the whole way between the two houses, in the days before roads; the road does most of that now, but the last stretch is still carried by hand, the ritual kept alive.

the fried bread — the thin, sun-dried, deep-fried discs offered to the gods and then shared around as prasad.

the rice sweet — the dark, chewy sweet of rice flour and jaggery, fried in ghee, made at every hill wedding.

the leaf sweet — a cone of sweetened khoya wrapped in a fragrant green malu leaf — a Kumaoni speciality.

the Almora sweet — the famous brown, fudge-like sweet of roasted khoya rolled in sugar balls, born in Almora just down the road.

the coal brazier — the little fire that warms the night gatherings through a cold hill wedding season.

the threshold art — the white rice-paste patterns drawn by hand on floors, walls and doorsteps at every Kumaoni rite, for good fortune.

the door hanging — the string of mango leaves and marigold hung across a doorway to welcome and to bless.

the canopy — the decorated pavilion under which the sacred fire is lit and the marriage performed.